Shout out to MMAMania for this shot.
This one is a little bit of comedy and a little bit of downright sad…
These are a few things I’ve heard said while watching boxing and/or MMA fights at sports bars. Coincidentally, these are also the very reasons why I try to watch fights at home.
1. Punch him in the ribs!
When it’s said: One fighter is in another fighter’s guard.
The reality: There’s quite a few techniques solely dedicated to shutting down strikes when you’re on bottom. Think maybe the bottom athlete knows any of them? Cause if so, something like “punch him in the ribs” might be a little easier said than done without high level setups.
2. Break his jaw!
When it’s said: Pretty much anytime as long as the speaker is at least 1 beer deep.
The reality: This isn’t a game of Rock’em Sock’em Robots. Chances are the other guy’s not going to just stand there and let you hit him. Maybe that’s why coaches tell their fighters intelligent ways to set up strikes instead of nonsense like this…
3. He’s running!
When it’s said: A fighter is using footwork or taking a step back to reset.
The reality: This is coming from an uneducated majority that has a thirst for blood. To them, all fights must have two athletes swinging for the fences for the entire duration or else there’s no possible entertainment value. For the smart minority, taking a step back to reset or using good footwork to stay out of trouble is an entertaining way to win a fight and have a healthy and long-lasting career.
4. He needs to get his hands up!
When it’s said: A fighter gets hit by something anything.. sometimes even if the fighter’s hands are already up.
The reality: There are several types of guards out there and a high guard (the traditional “hands up” guard) is not always the best one in every situation. Are there times when fighters need to get their hands up? Absolutely… but this one is all too often said at the wrong times. It should be noted that regardless of what guard an athlete uses, it’s a fight. You’re going to get hit in a fight. Plain and simple.
5. He’s scared!/He didn’t come to fight.
When it’s said: During a fighter walkout, interview, or if a fighter loses.
The reality: We have some psychologists in the house on this one. (Their degrees may or may not be from Devry.) This one is particularly obnoxious because many of the people that say it assume they can tell what’s going on in a fighter’s mind.
Also, a fighter that is executing an intelligent game-plan that calls for taking the least amount of punishment in order to win a fight is NOT scared. He or she is a genius. Nobody in the bar is going to pay hospital bills if a fighter brawls and gets hurt trying to entertain them. So there’s no reason not to fight a smart fight… whether you’re accused of being scared or not.
And my favorite….
6. All he needs to do is get outta that and he’ll be fine.
When it’s said: A fighter is trying to fight out of a submission or unfavorable ground position.
The reality: I don’t even really know how to explain this one without writing a paragraph of ridiculing jokes… I’ll just let this one simmer in your minds for a bit.
I’ll hand it over to Mr. Foreman to wrap it up:
George Foreman put it best when talking about boxing (although it applies to MMA and kickboxing as well):
“Boxing is like jazz. The better it is, the less people appreciate it.”
Those of us that understand that there is more to combat sports than just strength and toughness are plagued with being surrounded by folks that view it is a bloodsport. Share this with your buddies that may be “that guy” in the bar. He’ll thank you for it… and even if he doesn’t, don’t worry. I’LL thank you for it!
Have any other sad but hilarious lines that you’ve heard while watching fights? I want to hear them. Comment them down below! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you all got a good laugh out of this.
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Much love to ya’ll.
Prashant Paul
“Intelligence is a lonely place.”
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